It drives me crazy when someone asks, “What do you do?
I don’t blame the asker. I’m saddened it has become the rote question we ask when meeting someone new.
The question implies we want to know one’s salary and if she is worth the time to engage.
This question indicates we don’t care about the person. It indicates we want to put them in a neat little box and slap on a label.
The answer gives us a sense of security because we now know where we stand in comparison to them.
I cringe when I hear myself ask this judgement laced question.
An Alternative Question
I’ve started asking,”Tell me about yourself,” “What is your story?” or “What do you do in your free time?”
As these aren’t expected, I’m often met with wide eyes and a few seconds of silence. Sometimes I’ll end up hearing about where they work anyways, other times I learn they love to hike or go thrift shopping.
If you are on the receiving end of “What do you do?”, The Minimalists suggest responding with your passions.
Instead of exchanging job titles, these alternative questions and responses can lead to meaningful conversation. We can start building relationships and real human connection.
Sure, you may be passionate about your job, and that is wonderful! Talk about why you love it and how it sets you on fire.
But, for some, a job is a means to an end. Don’t squash that person under your thumb with a uninspiring question.
Our world is already full of judgement. We can minimize the level of judgement by asking better questions in our daily interactions.
